July 2010
10 posts
Movies
Me: Can you not just watch the movie?
GF: No baby, it requires audience participation
*during The Karate Kid
“What is that, a Zamboni?”
– -referring to a car and trailer on the highway
“I’m the time Nazi, I know when the moment is right.”
On driveways
GF: I want a flagship driveway
Me: You mean flagstone?
GF: Flagship, flagstone, whatever they're both expensive.
“Babe, c’mon we have to have two kids. Look at you, no brothers or sisters...”
2 tags
“It’s like she’s stepping on a family of ducks.”
– describing friends flatulence
GF: It's like the triple threat of joy.
Me: Do you mean trifecta?
GF: Yeah, whatever
“C’mon who wants to eat a pregnant mackerel that swam northward with goats.”
– on fine dining
2 tags
The foofa
GF: I scrubbed with my foofa.
Me: You mean your loofah?
GF: Yeah, scrub plus loofah equals foofa.
On Research
GF: This research has turned around 190 degrees
Me: You mean 180
GF: No, 190 it's really turned around.
June 2010
5 posts
Efficsit!
GF: We have to make this efficsit.
Me: Make it what?
GF: Make this visit efficient.
Me: You squished the words together?
GF: Yes, it's more efficient that way.
Me: Ok...
“A motion at rest likes to stay at rest.”
2 tags
“I got a really nice email from my boss today, guess she got rolled through the...”
2 tags
“No one makes a hotdog for one… yeah put that on your bumper sticker.”
“Babe, it’s like killing two birds with one shot.”